CHEERS!!!!!

Here comes the most exciting time of the year..My Birthday, Christmas and New Years!! :)

Wow!! There is an amazing amalgamation of emotions that I always experience and witness a beautiful potpourri of colours, festivities, lights and gifts and what not....And everytime I wish for time to stand still..for me...Coz I wish to absorb every bit of love splendour and enthusiasm circulating in the air..Enough to last for a year atleast :)

The funniest thing is that I have been cooped up in my room for past few days and not exactly a witness to the wonders outside..But I can almost visualise it..I can almost smell it and taste it and feel the tingling within.. heheheh..Hope to do lots of shopping and exciting stuff in the last few days of this year.. Have to make up for so much and undo the effects of a lot of things that should not have happened..

In a small little corner of my heart there is a tinge of darkness.. But today I am holding in my hands the candle of hope and the brilliance of the love in my life and countless blessings.. Today I want to be a little selfish and feel like saying a genuine prayer for myself..something I haven't done before. My dearest and sweetest Lord..I wish for lots and lots of happiness..oodles and oodles of love..tons & tons of success..and of course good health. Look forward to receiving my bag of goodies this Christmas. Amen!!! :)

Finding this Winter bit too cold...

This Winter seems to be the season of Love...All around me People are falling in love...getting engaged..wedding bells are ringing..Celebrations galore.... My Friends, Cousins, Family friends...Everyone is living a blissful life with their respective partners..And hey, as usual, without an exception I am excluded from these joys in life..Partly by choice and primarily by chance..

I am not complaining and I am not demanding..But yes, I am sad and terribly lonely...

I never realised I had changed so much in the past few months..Gone are the days when I used to be genuinely happy for others..I am certainly very happy for all my loved ones and have only good wishes to offer from the core of my heart..But still...it somewhere does leave a sour taste..I know it sounds awful..Frankly, I dont really care coz I am being honest to myself..

Things have changed drastically..not for the better of course.. The word friendship has lost its meaning..When their own little world is so beautiful, they dont really need an outsider..And the moments I want someone by my side, I dont have them..I feel as if I dont know these people anymore, who were an integral part of my life for years.. Maybe its just a passing phase..Hope so!!

The icing on the cake is my being single..I dont understand how and why it is a point of concern for the rest of the world..Every now and then, I find myself at the receiving end..Every person on the road has a lecture or an advice or an opinion to hand over..Gimme a break!! What the hell do you know and Why the hell do you care? Just coz their own life is hunky-dory gives them a right to point fingers at me..With not an inkling of what I might be possibly going through? Who doesnt want to be in love and be loved??
But its not in my hands.. I am living this life and noone can possibly understand what I go through..I do not expect anyone to understand or empathise or sympathise...But I desperately need peace..Let me be!! Please!! Let me be with the memories of the happier days gone by.. And the love and thoughts of those very very few people who mean the world to me and will always do.....

I have always been really really fond of the Winter season..The sun might get a little dull this time of the year but I used to be all bright and cheerful..Not this time though..I am definitely finding this winter a bit too cold....Looking forward to the Spring......................

Missing You..

On this cold wintery morning with a soft touch of sunshine...I find myself so lonely..Completely overpowered by your thoughts..Wish you knew How much I miss you and How much I want to be with you..

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Silence before the Storm!

Its an eerie feeling...this silence..It had started to get real comforting and I habituated myself to it..All of a sudden it feels creepy..I move around in the world carrying this invisible sheath around myself...Absolutely impenetrable..(Even I cannot get across it) Its a pathetic empty vaccuous experience for sure..the upside being riddance of the 'sensitivity' that was both my strongest and weakest point...I am aware of the sense of incompleteness..a milder version of identity crisis..Whatsoever, Don't have an option..

I am seriously tensed about the storm brewing at home..Neither prevention nor cure would work! Flow with the tide I guess and face the grim consequences.. Praying and Hoping for a Miracle.. Amen!