
March 27, 2009
I simply do not know why..

March 5, 2009
The Superlatives...

February 13, 2009
Let's Celebrate Love!!!
I came across an Article in the newspaper which spoke about Love. The article quoted the definition of love as given in the Bible."Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
This is such a beautiful & complete way of expressing an emotion (which I always considered indescribable). Tomorrow is Valentine's Day - the day to celebrate Love in its entirety and utmost purity. I have heard, read & come across a lot of people who question the relevance of this day. But I say why not?? Why shouldn't we have a day that celebrates Love - the essence & beauty of 'Love'. Love that captures not just a romantic bond between a couple but also chaste love between a mother & a child, the camaraderie between two friends, the sweet-sour affection among siblings, the faithful devoutness of a devotee for God or for that matter, a plain un-named relationship between two individuals.
I wholeheartedly agree with the thinking that we must understand, cherish & express our Love to our loved ones every single day (or for that matter each moment of our existence). In these unpredictable strange times of life, we all must gather, steal & wheedle out all those beautiful moments of love & togetherness that we can. But as we get caught in the whirlpool of life, I think days like the Valentine's day bring with it a tender realization of the significance of love. Its certainly not meant to be the only day in the year when you celebrate love. To me, this day is an opportunity to celebrate, to do something extra-special for all the people who mean the world to me, feel blessed & grateful for all the love I have and most importantly, promise myself to be more loving & giving with each passing moment.
Cheers to 'Love' and all those people who believe in 'Love'...
December 31, 2008
It's time to say Good-bye, to the year gone by...
Wishing all my lovely blog-mates a bright, happy, peaceful & safe NEW YEAR!!!
Let’s embrace 2009 with hope & faith in our hearts and spread the message of love & peace the year round... :D
October 14, 2008
Sunrise of my Life..
For every dark sunset that you survive, there is going to be a beautiful Sunrise to welcome you... :)"Live totally, and live intensely, so that each moment becomes golden and your whole life becomes a series of golden moments. Such a person never dies because she has the Midas touch: whatever she touches becomes gold.... " (Quote by Osho)
September 26, 2008
AN EMPTY BOX...
July 14, 2008
Loose Threads...
There she was, elegantly placed on the wooden chair by the big window, looking out at the skies. There was nothing particularly interesting about the sky or the moon today. It wasn’t too long ago that she had been sitting at the same place, cosily wrapped in the silken fabric of her dreams & desires.
But what had gone wrong?
One loose thread has the capacity to unknot the complete relationship...
July 1, 2008
M bak..

Getting bak to my blog after almost a month.. the scheduled break ws only 15 days.. but i jst couldn't and didn't want to get bak..
It'll probably take me some more time to get bak to writing.. nevertheless, m around to catch up on all the lovely blogs.. :)
June 1, 2008
Away...
Please Wish me Good luck!! :)

Enjoy people!! n Keep SMiling!! :)
May 21, 2008
Genuine Desires..

Filled to the brim it was
With worldly gems and jewels
I thought I acquired it all
But my existence is yet so incomplete...
I desire for something more...something genuine
I yearn for a gentle stroke of love
In the times of unfaithful passions
Crave for a speck of truth
In the falsities of words and deeds
Searching for traces of faith
In the web of rationality and logic
Longing for a moment of peace
In the turbulence of minds n hearts
Get me a pure drop of tear
In the murky waters of emotions
Help me..
Time is running out !!!
May 7, 2008
Yet Again...
April 26, 2008
Tagged!!
Hope I can come up with some answers... and hopefully interesting ones!! ;)
8 things I am passionate about...
(but not necessarily in this order)
1. Music
2. Food (Yeah..anything n everything..chinese, italian, north Indian or South Indian..chocolates..ice creams..u name it & I love it...Gosh!! M feeling hungry)
3. Reading
4. Sketching n Painting
5. Writing
6. Love (Sounds strange probably..but m passionate about love.. loving people..anything & everything associated with love)
7. Passionate about my dreams n ambitions..
8. Spirituality
8 things I want to do before I die...
1. Travel the world.. a long list of places n cities I wanna visit
2. Have an exhibition of my paintings & sketches
3. Want to do something extremely special for my parents ..(maybe gift them a world tour)
4. Open a book shop or a Cafe or a Cookies shop..
5. Wanna own a beautiful home with fabulous interiors.. and have all the beautiful people I love with me
6. Want to learn a few things before I die - To play the violin, Salsa..Classical Singing..
7. Wanna meet Sachin Tendulkar
8. Successful career
8 things I say often...
1. Shit!
2. Shut up
3. Oye or Oye hoye
4. Get lost
5. I mean (tend to use it a lot in my sentences)
6. Ohh God
7. Hmmmmm..
8. Gosh
8 books I have read recently...
1. Powers of the Subconscious mind
2. Fooled by Randomness (Started reading it..)
3. My CFA course books ... :(
4. Eleven Minutes (Coelho)
5. Like a flowing river (Coelho)
(These are the only recent ones.. )
8 songs I could listen to over and over again...
1. Jhuki jhuki si nazar (Jagjit Singh)
(well.. I can listen to every ghazal of Jagjit singh over & over again..)
2. Tujhse naraz nahi zindagi (Masoom)
3. Tere bina zindagi se koi shikva toh nahi (Aandhi)
4. Ae kaash ke hum (Kabhi haan kabhi naa)
5. Baatein kuch ankahi si (Life in a Metro)
6. O Re Piya (Aaja Nachle)
7. Yeh jo des hai tera (Swades)
8. My Heart will go on (Celine Dion)
8 things that attract me to my best friends...
1. They are all genuine unique individuals
2. I can be myself with them
3. They can anytime bring a smile on my face
4. Have supported me in my tough times
5. Sharing & caring attitude
6. For tackling me when I am difficult & unreasonable
7. I always get to learn so much from them.
8. They love me for who I am
8 people I think should do this tag...
Well, I don't even know 8 people in bloggersphere.. :(
So, the answer for this one is - 'Not Applicable' :)
April 24, 2008
Happy Birthday My Love!!!

April 13, 2008
Have you looked at the mirror closely??
(**Repost**)Every now and then, the mirror compels me to confront myself..
Unlike the alive beings, it is completely pretence proof.
It smirks at the fake smile I offer….
ruthlessly reveals the creases of pain on the face..
i can even see the unknown tears absurdly dance in the eyes waiting for their turn…
while the dried ones have left smudges so conspicuous now….
the artificial lotions n potions do nothing to conceal the angst….
I shudder at my own ghastly image ……..
it gets unbearable and the very moment I decide to run away
there is a flash of light ...a blur…
then, I see myself again but with a fresh reflection….
a smile extends on the face that is so pure…
skin sparkles with innocence...
eyes that twinkle with hope….
their crystal waters shimmer with beautiful dreams…
Life is like a pendulum that oscillates between agony and ecstasy….
and so does my existence……. :)
April 12, 2008
Urrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!
Why do people become so self-centred & obssessed when they are in love? They see nothing & feel nothing except love & the one they are in love with... at one level, it is all nice n mushy n romantic n great..but at another level, it implies a high level of insensitivity towards the other people, who have been with them through thick n thin.. supported them in their lonely moments..
Funnily, I lost many of my friends, thanks to the love bug..
Anyhow, cheers to them and their love..
(Can't believe I am writing this..but what the heck, I am really pissed off... )
April 8, 2008
Each One has its Own Tale

How can I possibly forget those eyes? The reason I exist.. Devastating..Mesmerising..Serene..Earthy brown..
March 31, 2008
Wish I knew...

It would dispel the darkness within
Wish I knew the candle of hope was waiting to be rekindled…
I soaked myself in the heavy rain thinking
It would rinse away the blemishes on the soul
Wish I knew I needed the willingness to change...
I immersed myself in the crowds thinking
It would take away the loneliness pangs
Wish I knew the worth of a genuine relationship...
I gazed at the rainbow for long thinking
It would lend colors to my life
Wish I knew I chose the palette of gray n blacks...
I let the winds slap me on the face thinking
It would be a punishment for the immoral deeds
Wish I knew I had to pay off as long as I lived...
I walked on the snow barefoot thinking
It would treat the wounds and scars
Wish I knew they could never be healed...
I squandered away all the time thinking
There would be several others to rejoice
I wish I knew this was the last moment
I wish I knew this was the last moment…
March 25, 2008
Random Thots!

why do some people have it so easy in life... and why is it that a lot of people live through their lives miserably despite all the sincere efforts... do we really get what we deserve??.. or is it that we deserve only what we get... maybe, its only a matter of one's perspective towards life and nothing else...
Wish I had a magic wand to set certain things right for myself and a lot of people around me... :)March 19, 2008
Untitled..
| Salaam Namaste - T... |
Heard this song after quite some time today... surprisingly i felt my eyes moisten and voila!! those drops quietly fell on my cheeks one by one... I dont know why it happened...
The music evoked a strange, vaccous feeling... as if m surrounded by a zone of emptiness all around... Within few moments, the space got filled with certain memories, the ones I had gotten riddance of.. atleast that is what I thought.. and gradually, plenty of other thoughts took over..
There wasnt any sort of direct connect of the song to what I went through or what I have been going through.. it just made me feel lonely.. I longed for someone to say these words to me.. to comfort me, make me feel protected & loved, to hold me tightly in his arms & say that everything is going to be just fine...
It wasn't about feeling weak or incapable of handling the situations & struggles in my life. It wasn't even about looking out for someone to sympathise or empathise with me. I am proud of the fact that I have developed the strength & patience to manage myself and my life very well. It was just like a rare moment of 'craving'... I wish it was one of those conventional desires for an ice-cream or a chocolate or anything for that matter which I could have satisfied somehow.. it is the thirst for so-called genuine & meaningful wants which can't be quenched so easily. But it was just what my soul ordered for today... I simply shrugged my shoulders, wiped my tears and got back to work.. the longing remains...
March 15, 2008
Secrets of Love!!!!

The First Secret - The Power Of Thought
The Third Secret - The Power Of Giving
The Fifth Secret - The Power Of Touch
The Sixth Secret - The Power Of Letting Go
The Eighth Secret - The Power Of Commitment
The Ninth Secret - The Power Of Passion
March 13, 2008
March 11, 2008
| Khamaj.mp3 |
One of my most favorite songs...yeah!! the voice is simply awesome.. But I truly love the song for the emotions it expresses and evokes... m mesmerized like always!! :)
(I miss you....)
March 8, 2008
Defeated..

"Defeated"... Yes, we have been defeated.. In the last10 months, I didnt even let this word cross my mind coz I had full conviction and absolute faith in the cause we were fighting for. The faith still stands strong & unfazed. But the bottomline is a battle cannot be fought only on the basis of thought & spirit.
It isnt an easy task to fight for justice in any realm of life and this fact wasnt unknown to us. We let the overwhelming spirit of truth & righteousness prevail and decided to take the plunge. We chose to fight the demons with every ounce of strength and courage in our body and soul. Can't really say about my fellow beings but me & my family are a part of this mission coz we owe it to that one man who gave us everything - a reason to live... the judgement of right and wrong... ability to take decisions... the awareness of our real purpose...the meaning of life... the light of faith... the path to spirituality & bliss... bountiful blessings & enormous love...
We fought for 'him' and for 'ourselves'... its one and the same thing...coz the invisible lines that separate us were getting blurred with time.
It was never the will or the spirit to battle it out that was lacking... it was those seemingly unimportant peripheral areas that brought about the doom. Sadly, truth doesnt find many takers. We have made it a basic human tendency to turn a blind eye to all the wrongs happening around us.. Worse, people willingly join the evil brigade, lured by momentary gains.. After all, its a commercial society that we live in... everything has a price tag attached to it... I personally know hordes of people who put themselves on sale and eventually stood on the other side of the line. It is the human and non-human resources that fell short of... Turned every stone to win every form of support... And not to forget, the corrupt politicians & the rotten judicial system hit the final nail in the coffin.. Here we stand today, just a handful of people... demoralized, shattered, heartbroken...
As I am writing this, my words keep oscillating between the past & the present tense... Somewhere, deep down I am struggling to accept the facts in front of my eyes... and of course, the ray of hope hasn't extinguished yet... have to keep that alive somehow..
Not letting the tears drop out of my eyes... a weak moment is the last thing I want... let the pain prick me every second... do not want this defeat to get erased out of my memory... rest, I leave upto you Lord...Amen!!
March 6, 2008

"Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.....!!!! Finger on your lips... I want pindrop silence..." I put on that school principal kinda stern look and a somewhat authoritative tone and asked my mind to just shutup... Have been totally fedup of its childish mischief and melodrama in last few months.. Got some lovely moments of peace today... sigh..finally!!!!!! It felt so nice n quiet within.. simply loved it.. :)
My crazy lil mind is always upto some devilish prank. Relentlessly trying to interfere in whatever I do..and whatever I dont do.. Thank god!! He took to my scolding this time around... ;)
I just dont wanna think anything for a few days.. Taking a break from my 'thought process' ..
Gonna be a mute spectator for a while.. the objective would be to - Look Observe & Assimilate without any kinda reasoning, logic or rationality gushing in.. Let's how it goes...
March 4, 2008
Missed you...

Did I run out of topics or devoid of thoughts?? Neither.. Its not even paucity of time.. just the inability to structure my thoughts... coz there's simply too much to handle.. work, studies, health and an important issue which is gradually turning sore... and a lot more... So, I just keep wildly jumping n hopping from one subject to another..
But I truly missed you my dear blog... :) ..my bestest buddy at all times.. You always quietly n patiently listen to me... very sweetly assimilate all the crap I offer.. :) hehehehe...
Promise to try and be regular now on...
February 15, 2008
Letting it go..

So far, it has been people saying good-byes to me...sometimes silent...sometimes verbal...often subtle...rarely open n direct.. Now, I am making an exception..not just for the heck of it.. moreso, as a need of the hour. I am making extremely sincere attempts to steer my life into the direction I always wanted. Have been trying to do that for long..but its not going to be half-baked attempts anymore. In this process of revamping my life, I chose to say good-byes to a lot of friends. The list is so long that it makes me wonder for a few moments..What was I upto all this while? Am I so naive n foolish that everytime I end up being a victim of the famous Dishonest Backstabbers Group?
Anyhow, Let me just do what I wanted to... and waste no more of my time.
Goodbye to all those lucky people out there!!! Thank you so much for teaching me the most crucial..most painful n most important lessons of life... I think its much better to live alone with some integrity n self respect than be an emotional slave to those who just do not care..
(Luckiest are those...who find genuine friends in life... )
February 5, 2008
Put an end to this Wait...

I need you.. I desperately need you.. Not to heal my pain..Not at all asking you to sort out my problems.. not even to grant me 'this wish' or 'that wish' ...Just want to talk to you.. one on one..So far, it was only about ME.. What I want...n How I want it..How much life sucks..No matter whatever you give me, its never never enough..But now, I want it to be about 'US'..I want to hear your comforting voice..Please come back!! Say all that you wish to...Talk to me!! Guide me...Lead me...Motivate me...Support me...Embrace me.. Just be with me My Lord!!! I cant seem to find you anywhere..anywhich way.... :(
January 28, 2008
On my way to BLISS...

Choked with overwhelming emotions...
I want to break free....
I want to immerse myself in the softness of my soul...
Wish to be wrapped in the fabric of silken dreams...
Unravel my essence & Discover my Bliss....
December 21, 2007
CHEERS!!!!!


December 10, 2007
Finding this Winter bit too cold...

I am not complaining and I am not demanding..But yes, I am sad and terribly lonely...
I never realised I had changed so much in the past few months..Gone are the days when I used to be genuinely happy for others..I am certainly very happy for all my loved ones and have only good wishes to offer from the core of my heart..But still...it somewhere does leave a sour taste..I know it sounds awful..Frankly, I dont really care coz I am being honest to myself..
Things have changed drastically..not for the better of course.. The word friendship has lost its meaning..When their own little world is so beautiful, they dont really need an outsider..And the moments I want someone by my side, I dont have them..I feel as if I dont know these people anymore, who were an integral part of my life for years.. Maybe its just a passing phase..Hope so!!
The icing on the cake is my being single..I dont understand how and why it is a point of concern for the rest of the world..Every now and then, I find myself at the receiving end..Every person on the road has a lecture or an advice or an opinion to hand over..Gimme a break!! What the hell do you know and Why the hell do you care? Just coz their own life is hunky-dory gives them a right to point fingers at me..With not an inkling of what I might be possibly going through? Who doesnt want to be in love and be loved??
But its not in my hands.. I am living this life and noone can possibly understand what I go through..I do not expect anyone to understand or empathise or sympathise...But I desperately need peace..Let me be!! Please!! Let me be with the memories of the happier days gone by.. And the love and thoughts of those very very few people who mean the world to me and will always do.....
I have always been really really fond of the Winter season..The sun might get a little dull this time of the year but I used to be all bright and cheerful..Not this time though..I am definitely finding this winter a bit too cold....Looking forward to the Spring......................
December 6, 2007
Missing You..

On this cold wintery morning with a soft touch of sunshine...I find myself so lonely..Completely overpowered by your thoughts..Wish you knew How much I miss you and How much I want to be with you..
|
December 1, 2007
Silence before the Storm!

November 24, 2007
November 23, 2007
Nothing but Questions..
November 22, 2007
Calling out to YOU...
November 9, 2007
I choose... Silence...

When I look for my soul,
My silence is a climbing flame that warms my world of despair.
In my silence I become a man of sterling character, a prolific writer, a voracious reader, a divine lover, a profound inspirer and a triumphant liberator.
In my deep silence I never become a victim to ignorance,
October 13, 2007
September 20, 2007
Empty...
September 19, 2007
A special Thank you note..

standing on the edge of something much too deep
it's funny how i feel so much yet cannot say a word
we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard
don't let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories...................."
(Sarah Mclachan, I will remember you)
Can't thank you enough
for the cruel betrayal
I cannot ever trust anyone again
Can't thank you enough
for all the beautiful pain
the tears simply refuse to die down
Thank you so much
for shattering my beliefs
about any kind of goodness in the world
Can't thank you enough
for all the sleepless nights
and the turbulent days
I genuinely can't thank you enough
Coz of all that I went through
I rediscovered myself..
"Weep not for the memories...."
Its just not worth it...
It never was..
I wish I could someday understand how and why people derive pleasure by ruthlessly betraying someone... Maybe the answer isn't important! Coz Life comes a full circle. What you sow is what you reap!! ;)
September 14, 2007
Reflecting Upon......

with the roughest courage. When they are real, they
are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest
thing we know."
"Be not the slave of your past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old."
"It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude."
(My fav quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson)
September 10, 2007
At War...with the Self !

The battlelines had been clearly drawn..The Enemy was prepared for an intensive onslaught.. I, alone was pitted against an army of human and inhuman forces.. Stepped onto the battlefield suffering from a gallimaufry of emotions. The familiar nervousness , the expected mental strain and many a doubts...
It was still time for the official kick-off... Desperately needed this crucial spell to myself..Took a few deep breaths..I knew they wouldnt do any good to pacify the turmoil within..Nevertheless, it somewhat cleared the dust n grime..
Gradually lifted my gaze to match it with my opponents..Its one thing to know who you would encounter and another to actually face them on the war ground. Quivering and trembling, I scanned each and every one. They were all present..My insecurities..my failures n foibles..the deep-seated complexes dint miss the opportunity to come to fore..even the fears set out to take revenge..the ghosts of the dreams that had been strangled with my own hands sprung up today..Most tragic was the sight of those people I had loved more than myself..they had betrayed me before, laid bruises neither time nor love could heal.. Life was offering a legitimate chance to give back the grief.. (little did life know about the ways of love..it ultimately gets down to tormenting oneself)
Glanced back for my allies in the war..It was just me! My shadow, too, stood across the borderline. Pain was the only weapon I carried..(to be continued...)
"The secret art of war and love is to know when to give up and move on."
September 9, 2007
August 29, 2007
Sad In Spring !!!
Have committed several mistakes..
Taken a few wrong decisions...
Lacked the will to carry through some commitments..
But I never ever regretted anything.
I took my failures as learning experiences..
Imbibed all the lessons that came my way..
But for the first time I am deeply regretting a decision..
a choice I made..
gotta bear the cost of my weaknesses for a long time
I wish to go back in time and erase those few chapters..
I want nothing of it in my present..
Want to take back each and every word I said..
Bury all those memories alive!
Forget those relations ever existed in my life.
Cant take it anymore..
M fed up of my tears..
I want to Let GO...But How??
Gloom has enveloped the brighter things of life
Sentiments r getting murkier
Feels so empty within.
August 26, 2007
In my own World !!!
Tasveerein si ban jaati hai
Main kaise inhe bhoolon
Dil ko kya samjhaoon..."
"Har ek roz naya aasmaan khulta hai
Khabar nahi hai ki kal din ka rang kya hoga
Palak se paani gira hai toh usko girne do
Koi purani tamanna pighal rahi hogi "
(My favourite lines..from two beautiful songs)
August 25, 2007
Why does it hurt?
Aakhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
Humko unse wafa ki hai umeed
Jo nahi jaante wafa kya hai "
It all comes back in flashes once in a while..bringing with it a whole lot of pain...It takes many a drops of tears to heal and get back to the reality...
August 21, 2007
Living it.....

the moment you think you have it all figured out there is a fresher set of facts n figures to assimilate ...
the moment you find you're closer to your destination you realise it isnt what you struggled for...
the moment you feel you v found the love of your life, someone comes and wakes you up...
the moment you begin to understand the best way to lead life, the angel of death quietly slips his hand into yours...
So, Dont think Just Live..
Live for what you believe in!!!
Live for those who Love you !!!
Live for those you Love !!!
(but first make sure the person is worth your love)!!!
Most importantly, Live for yourself!!!
But in living for thy self always do Respect someone else's emotions as much as you respect yours!! :)
August 14, 2007
August 12, 2007
nothing stronger than a hurt heart mended...
nothing more foolish than a young woman in love..
nothing wiser than a woman scorned by love....
(Came across these lines somewhere..)
If You hadnt been so foolish then, You probably wouldnt have been so wise today!!!
(Sigh....Sigh....)
August 11, 2007
As silly as it gets.....That's me!!
Its been a long time i penned something good
But Words seem to be in a mood to play hide n seek
And the pot pourri of thoughts only adds on to the trouble
Ther's plenty running through my mind
I am tired..Just want to sleep...Wish I could..
I totally detest that feeling of helplessness
Coz I often find myself in that state
There's loads of stuff to do..that i cant even figure out
where to begin...this, no ...that !!!
Aah!! Leave it..Let me just think a little more..
Gosh!! Do i make any sense at all??
Nothing new about that i guess ;)
So, signing off with a goodnight(to me of course, is there any one who even reads what i write or is even remotely interested in what i feel and think)
Sweet dreams dear...please try having a sound sleep today for a change(minus the nightmares) ;)
Wish i could get a big chocolate pastry with scoops of vanilla icecream at this hour........... :(








