I just wish I wasn't such an emotional fool... At every step, I have to go through so much of pain because of my ridiculously emotional nature. Yet, I fail to learn... This huge jolt might just be the lesson that I will take. I need to be less emotional and more detached. I need to stop thinking about everyone... I need to learn how to live like a machine which mechanically performs all its tasks and depreciates gradually to meet its final death... maybe I can be like that. All it needs is some efforts! Hard work can help one achieve anything. So, let this be my goal in life....

Its not that I do not want to live the way others do - free and happy. Its just that I know that I won't be able to. I am a firm believer in destiny and karmas. The past has revealed to me that I am not meant to be happy, ever... I dont have the strength to fight my destiny or be hopeful that a miracle might be on its way. Now, I am at ease being in pain. I have accepted it as my life and my destiny.