I wake up every morning..with your thought on my mind.....
the wonderful moments we spent together...the harsh words spoken to each other..
either way it is painful.. and a painful start to the day ensures that every moment I face is with soaked with tears... Make all the efforts to atleast manage my daily chores decently.. (never knew a mere basic activity like brushing teeth would seem so burdensome)
try to gather all the bits n pieces of strength left in me to think of the other things in life( though i dont really care) i have to if not for myself for a few people who still love me..
Its completely pointless to even think of anything...coz all i can manage these days is to shed some tears...i do that till the time my pillow is completely wet or iv spent too long in the bathroom for others to have doubts... Then i make all the effort to put on a nice fake smile (while the crying is even louder within) and utter a few words to put all those doubts to rest ( regarding my sanity and normalcy).. to my own surprise i am actually getting so good at pretending...pretending to be really happy as if life 's so beautiful when i am completely shattered... i dont realise how time passes..and i face the most difficult time of the day..the sunsets.. i look at the moon and i think of him(what he must be doing at this time, thinking of someone else maybe..i hope not..i wish he's thinking of me)..i look at the beautiful orangish-blue skies and they make me nostalgic...i hear some music playing somewhere and i am in much more pain...i pick up the phone to call him or a msg him..thinking maybe he changed his mind..maybe the nightmares are over..maybe today he'll tell me how much he loves me and cant live without me.. but all i get is a few phone calls from my friends..i hear how happy they are in their respective lives with their respective life partners and i am so cruelly reminded that i am so bloody lonely ..n a damn loser in life... with nothing in my hands, noone in my life and nothing to look forward to.... these moments too pass!! coz my life might have stopped long ago..but time doesnt wait for anyone.. and y shd it wait for me to hop on to the journey of life!! after all everybody else is happily enjoyng the journey..a couple of people left on the platform of life doesnt matter..right?
Another day passes...i lie on my bed thinking of how i spent the day thinking of you.. cry a little more and when my eyes are tired of it they somehow make an attempt to rest for the day(they are the ones doing all the work thru-out the day) i say goodnight to myself...looking forward to the next day that would begin with your thoughts....
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