Sad In Spring !!!

I know I am quite an imperfect individual.
Have committed several mistakes..
Taken a few wrong decisions...
Lacked the will to carry through some commitments..
But I never ever regretted anything.
I took my failures as learning experiences..
Imbibed all the lessons that came my way..

But for the first time I am deeply regretting a decision..
a choice I made..
gotta bear the cost of my weaknesses for a long time
I wish to go back in time and erase those few chapters..
I want nothing of it in my present..
Want to take back each and every word I said..
Bury all those memories alive!
Forget those relations ever existed in my life.
Cant take it anymore..
M fed up of my tears..
I want to Let GO...But How??
Gloom has enveloped the brighter things of life
Sentiments r getting murkier
Feels so empty within.

In my own World !!!

"Kitni baatein yaad aati hai
Tasveerein si ban jaati hai
Main kaise inhe bhoolon
Dil ko kya samjhaoon..."

"Har ek roz naya aasmaan khulta hai
Khabar nahi hai ki kal din ka rang kya hoga
Palak se paani gira hai toh usko girne do
Koi purani tamanna pighal rahi hogi "
(My favourite lines..from two beautiful songs)

Why does it hurt?

"Dil-e-Nadaan Tujhe hua kya hai
Aakhir is dard ki dawa kya hai
Humko unse wafa ki hai umeed
Jo nahi jaante wafa kya hai "

It all comes back in flashes once in a while..bringing with it a whole lot of pain...It takes many a drops of tears to heal and get back to the reality...

Living it.....

Its a bizarre journey in an even more bizarre world.....

the moment you think you have it all figured out there is a fresher set of facts n figures to assimilate ...

the moment you find you're closer to your destination you realise it isnt what you struggled for...

the moment you feel you v found the love of your life, someone comes and wakes you up...

the moment you begin to understand the best way to lead life, the angel of death quietly slips his hand into yours...

So, Dont think Just Live..
Live for what you believe in!!!
Live for those who Love you !!!
Live for those you Love !!!
(but first make sure the person is worth your love)!!!
Most importantly, Live for yourself!!!
But in living for thy self always do Respect someone else's emotions as much as you respect yours!! :)

Hmmmmmmmm!!!!!!

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nothing more vulnerable than a just hurt heart...
nothing stronger than a hurt heart mended...
nothing more foolish than a young woman in love..
nothing wiser than a woman scorned by love....

(Came across these lines somewhere..)

If You hadnt been so foolish then, You probably wouldnt have been so wise today!!!
(Sigh....Sigh....)

As silly as it gets.....That's me!!

Feel like writing something today..
Its been a long time i penned something good
But Words seem to be in a mood to play hide n seek
And the pot pourri of thoughts only adds on to the trouble
Ther's plenty running through my mind
I am tired..Just want to sleep...Wish I could..
I totally detest that feeling of helplessness
Coz I often find myself in that state
There's loads of stuff to do..that i cant even figure out
where to begin...this, no ...that !!!
Aah!! Leave it..Let me just think a little more..
Gosh!! Do i make any sense at all??
Nothing new about that i guess ;)
So, signing off with a goodnight(to me of course, is there any one who even reads what i write or is even remotely interested in what i feel and think)
Sweet dreams dear...please try having a sound sleep today for a change(minus the nightmares) ;)

Wish i could get a big chocolate pastry with scoops of vanilla icecream at this hour........... :(

Love - Plain n Simple!!

Heere moti main na chahoon
Main toh chahoon sangam tera...
Main toh teriii....Saiyyan!!!
Tu hai mera...!!!!!!!!!! Saiyyan!!!

Fears come Alive!!

They say.."You must always conquer your fears. Look them in the eye...and let go of that feeling of fear..."

I decided to let go of my biggest fear.. I chose to venture into the unknown...I did confront my nightmares...it was so beautiful but only for a moment...Just for a moment...Only to realise a moment later that my worst fears had indeed come true..They stared at me in the eye and mocked at my helplessness..laughed at my misery..
I will never ever have the courage to overcome this....and its all the more painful to live with it now.. Was/Is the pleasure of a moment worth a lifetime of agonising pain???????? Dont think so...........