Lonely...I am so lonely!!!

Its just so lonely....I dont know what to do....

The Q&A's of Life !!

"The Warrior never loses sight of what endures, nor of bonds forged over time. He knows how to distinguish between the transient and the enduring. There comes a moment, however, when his passions suddenly disappear. Despite all his knowledge, he allows himself to be overwhelmed by despair: from one moment to the next, his faith is not what it was, things do not happen as he dreamed they would, tragedies occur in unfair and unexpected ways, and he begins to believe that his prayers are not being heeded. He continues to pray and to attend religious services, but he cannot decieve himself, his heart does not respond as it once did, and the words seem meaningless.
At such a moment, there is only one possible path to follow: keep practising. Say your prayers out of duty or fear, or for some other reason, but keep praying. Keep on, even if all seems in vain.
The angel in charge of receiving you words, and who is responsible for the joy of faith, has wandered off somewhere. However, he will soon be back and will only know where to find you if he or she hears a prayer or request from you lips....."

Today, I got an answer...a much-needed direction....

I believe in the questions life throws at me...but more importantly I believe that life itself would provide me with the answers...when the time is right..when I am prepared to understand those answers.
I am truly waiting for you my ANGEL ...COME SOON!!

Heights of Pessimism !! ;)

Came across it somewhere....found it to be ridiculously funny n yes pessimistic..!!

Those Three Wishes!!

It was time to renew the Wish List. hmmmmm....i thought and i thought and i thought... Am I out of wishes now?? eeeeeooooowwwww!! No Way! There's always so so much that I wanted out of life. I still do i guess...
I think harder...
(after couple of hours of wandering in different directions..) Came up with a strange one this time.. not a single object..nothing fancy...all plain basic boring stuff... what the hell has happend to me?

I wish for a SMILE !! I have forgotten what it is to be happy... Do you know where do they sell these things??
I wish for LOVE !! I really do not know what it is to be loved... Is there anyone out there who would love me and accept me the way I am??
I wish for PEACE within!! Have been so restless for so long.. Shd I book my tickets to the Himalayas ?? ;) ;)
This magic lamp is hardly magical :(

In Between......???????

I know of the darkness of the night...the pitch black skies.. black of the devil.. of impurity and sin.. And I am aware of white... So divine.. The color of Angels..of beauty, purity and perfection... (I also know of the colors of the rainbow, of flowers...so vibrant and so beautiful...exuding energy n enthusiasm n passion of life...)

But I never understood the greys...

As I look at life and its questions( and answers, maybe) it should be either black or white... Then what are the grey areas all about??

what the hell is the 'in between'...?? this is what perplexes me..

The world is in an absolute state of confusion..including myself of course ( no matter how much i try not to be a part of this world...it doesnt really change the fact) the confusion lies in the so called greys...we do not know what we want....we do not know what we do not want... i want this and at the same time want that as well..
Supposedly, there's a deeper message that emerges of it - the so called 'greys' i mean... not merely signifying confusion, it upholds the process of introspection and transformation.. It shouts at me... Think deeper!! Get in touch with your soul !!!

Then the greys will naturally gently fade out.... making way for clarity...... and Bliss !!

Love is all I need !!

(Borrowed from somewhere.)

Many people, in seeking out love, tend to look outward rather than inward. Yet falling in love with yourself can be just as wonderful an experience as falling in love with someone else. While the idea of falling in love with ourselves may be perceived as conceited or selfish, choosing to fall in love with who you are is a powerful act of self-love.

When you fall in love with yourself, you can't help but experience a wonderful sense of discovery. You begin to look at yourself again through fresh eyes, becoming more attentive to the little details that make you so unique. Once you discover how much there is about you to fall in love with, you can't help but want to treat yourself as lovingly and respectfully as you would treat anyone who is special to you. You start to give to yourself more because you become more attentive to your own needs and desires.

Choosing to fall in love with yourself is a very personal process that takes time. There is no magic wand you can wave to make this just happen. But there is the magic of your intention and the power of your actions, whether you are taking the time to do the activities you like, speaking to and treating yourself with respect, taking inventory of all your wonderful qualities and accomplishments, or nurturing yourself with plenty of rest and self-care. When you fall in love with yourself, you begin to see yourself more positively, appreciate your unique outlook on life, and treat yourself in a more nurturing way. In loving yourself, you are acknowledging that you are special and deserving of love. Best of all, you are giving yourself one of the greatest gifts you have to give another. You are giving yourself the gift of your love.

Happy Birthday 'G'

I still cannot believe that you are gone..coz i feel your presence everywhere..i think of you most of the time..i miss you a lot!! I never ever thought there would be a moment in my life without you..
But Life is always the unexpected !! Today on this very very special day..just want to tell you that I love you loads.. I miss you loads.. I know it would sound very selfish..but today I need you the most!! I promise that I am going to live by all that you taught me.. I am so grateful for all the blessings and the so very important lessons you taught me. Love u........

"Love left us...."

" Did she leave you? or did you leave her??....... Love left us.......!!!" ( A dialogue from the movie Metro) i dont know why these lines stayed with me..and i am still thinking....
Can our love for someone ever leave us? Or if a feeling just evaporates with time, can you even label it as love? Isnt that trivialising love???
maybe my definition of love is too strong n impractical...bordering on somewhat filmy(not this film though but the general view) or bookish version of love...the happily ever after kinds... yes maybe, but even if it isnt the happy n beautiful culmination of love into marriage..if things dont work out.. love remains n it should!!! Isnt that what love is all about?? Loving an individual always...till your last breath.. the expressions can change, the circumstances may differ..proximity might disappear.. other emotions might takeover our senses n mind..but Love remains..right? Quietly sitting in the corner of the heart.. beautiful..pure n unfazed.. That is love.... i guess!!! (...to be continued)

Will i ever be able to trust u again????

I trusted you blindly..told you all my secrets..shared with you all my dreams n ambitions..you know my fears..n you even supposedly understood my circumstances...yet you took all the wrong decisions..will i ever be able to trust you again?
in the conflict between you and the mind.. i always chose you-- my heart.. and all i got was pain..lies and betrayal..how could you do this to me? you promised me love..you promised me the happiness of the world and the beauty of life...you promised!!! Will i ever be able to trust you again??

Dont think so..coz you no more belong to me.. so how and why should i trust you?

............................

i patched up with my loneliness
and shared vows for a lifetime
i sold our precious dreams
they fetched me nothing
only time can heal these scars
but iv kept the time on hold..
i got rid of all the love & warmth in me
now i am a part of the world...