March 31, 2008

Wish I knew...


I faced the fierce sunrays for hours thinking
It would dispel the darkness within
Wish I knew the candle of hope was waiting to be rekindled…

I soaked myself in the heavy rain thinking
It would rinse away the blemishes on the soul
Wish I knew I needed the willingness to change...

I immersed myself in the crowds thinking
It would take away the loneliness pangs
Wish I knew the worth of a genuine relationship...

I gazed at the rainbow for long thinking
It would lend colors to my life
Wish I knew I chose the palette of gray n blacks...

I let the winds slap me on the face thinking
It would be a punishment for the immoral deeds
Wish I knew I had to pay off as long as I lived...

I walked on the snow barefoot thinking
It would treat the wounds and scars
Wish I knew they could never be healed...

I squandered away all the time thinking
There would be several others to rejoice
I wish I knew this was the last moment
I wish I knew this was the last moment…


March 25, 2008

Random Thots!


why do some people have it so easy in life... and why is it that a lot of people live through their lives miserably despite all the sincere efforts... do we really get what we deserve??.. or is it that we deserve only what we get... maybe, its only a matter of one's perspective towards life and nothing else...

Wish I had a magic wand to set certain things right for myself and a lot of people around me... :)

March 19, 2008

Untitled..

Salaam Namaste - T...

Heard this song after quite some time today... surprisingly i felt my eyes moisten and voila!! those drops quietly fell on my cheeks one by one... I dont know why it happened...

The music evoked a strange, vaccous feeling... as if m surrounded by a zone of emptiness all around... Within few moments, the space got filled with certain memories, the ones I had gotten riddance of.. atleast that is what I thought.. and gradually, plenty of other thoughts took over..

There wasnt any sort of direct connect of the song to what I went through or what I have been going through.. it just made me feel lonely.. I longed for someone to say these words to me.. to comfort me, make me feel protected & loved, to hold me tightly in his arms & say that everything is going to be just fine...

It wasn't about feeling weak or incapable of handling the situations & struggles in my life. It wasn't even about looking out for someone to sympathise or empathise with me. I am proud of the fact that I have developed the strength & patience to manage myself and my life very well. It was just like a rare moment of 'craving'... I wish it was one of those conventional desires for an ice-cream or a chocolate or anything for that matter which I could have satisfied somehow.. it is the thirst for so-called genuine & meaningful wants which can't be quenched so easily. But it was just what my soul ordered for today... I simply shrugged my shoulders, wiped my tears and got back to work.. the longing remains...

March 15, 2008

Secrets of Love!!!!


(Came across this article somewhere.... )

The First Secret - The Power Of Thought
***********************************
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

The Second Secret - The Power Of Respect
***********************************
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect asks yourself, “What do I respect about myself?” To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself “What do I respect about them?”

The Third Secret - The Power Of Giving
**********************************
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of ahappy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The Fourth Secret - The Power Of Friendship
***************************************
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other’s eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love’s seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The Fifth Secret - The Power Of Touch
**********************************
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The Sixth Secret - The Power Of Letting Go
*************************************
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. “Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life.”

The Seventh Secret - The Power Of Communication
********************************************
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: “I Love you.” Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and..why are you waiting?

The Eighth Secret - The Power Of Commitment
****************************************
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The Ninth Secret - The Power Of Passion
***********************************
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The Tenth Secret - The Power Of Trust
*********************************
Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels wrapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, “Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?” If the answer is “no”, think carefully before making a commitment.

March 13, 2008


Its 1 A.M. ... m too tired to write..
succha lot of work pending... phewww!!
mujhe bahut ninni aayi hai... mummyyyyyyy!!!!

March 11, 2008

Khamaj.mp3

One of my most favorite songs...yeah!! the voice is simply awesome.. But I truly love the song for the emotions it expresses and evokes... m mesmerized like always!! :)

(I miss you....)

March 8, 2008

Defeated..


"Defeated"... Yes, we have been defeated.. In the last10 months, I didnt even let this word cross my mind coz I had full conviction and absolute faith in the cause we were fighting for. The faith still stands strong & unfazed. But the bottomline is a battle cannot be fought only on the basis of thought & spirit.


It isnt an easy task to fight for justice in any realm of life and this fact wasnt unknown to us. We let the overwhelming spirit of truth & righteousness prevail and decided to take the plunge. We chose to fight the demons with every ounce of strength and courage in our body and soul. Can't really say about my fellow beings but me & my family are a part of this mission coz we owe it to that one man who gave us everything - a reason to live... the judgement of right and wrong... ability to take decisions... the awareness of our real purpose...the meaning of life... the light of faith... the path to spirituality & bliss... bountiful blessings & enormous love...

We fought for 'him' and for 'ourselves'... its one and the same thing...coz the invisible lines that separate us were getting blurred with time.

It was never the will or the spirit to battle it out that was lacking... it was those seemingly unimportant peripheral areas that brought about the doom. Sadly, truth doesnt find many takers. We have made it a basic human tendency to turn a blind eye to all the wrongs happening around us.. Worse, people willingly join the evil brigade, lured by momentary gains.. After all, its a commercial society that we live in... everything has a price tag attached to it... I personally know hordes of people who put themselves on sale and eventually stood on the other side of the line. It is the human and non-human resources that fell short of... Turned every stone to win every form of support... And not to forget, the corrupt politicians & the rotten judicial system hit the final nail in the coffin.. Here we stand today, just a handful of people... demoralized, shattered, heartbroken...


As I am writing this, my words keep oscillating between the past & the present tense... Somewhere, deep down I am struggling to accept the facts in front of my eyes... and of course, the ray of hope hasn't extinguished yet... have to keep that alive somehow..

Not letting the tears drop out of my eyes... a weak moment is the last thing I want... let the pain prick me every second... do not want this defeat to get erased out of my memory... rest, I leave upto you Lord...Amen!!

March 6, 2008


"Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.....!!!! Finger on your lips... I want pindrop silence..." I put on that school principal kinda stern look and a somewhat authoritative tone and asked my mind to just shutup... Have been totally fedup of its childish mischief and melodrama in last few months.. Got some lovely moments of peace today... sigh..finally!!!!!! It felt so nice n quiet within.. simply loved it.. :)

My crazy lil mind is always upto some devilish prank. Relentlessly trying to interfere in whatever I do..and whatever I dont do.. Thank god!! He took to my scolding this time around... ;)

I just dont wanna think anything for a few days.. Taking a break from my 'thought process' ..

Gonna be a mute spectator for a while.. the objective would be to - Look Observe & Assimilate without any kinda reasoning, logic or rationality gushing in.. Let's how it goes...

March 4, 2008

Missed you...


Whoah!!! Its been a while I put something on my blog...

Did I run out of topics or devoid of thoughts?? Neither.. Its not even paucity of time.. just the inability to structure my thoughts... coz there's simply too much to handle.. work, studies, health and an important issue which is gradually turning sore... and a lot more... So, I just keep wildly jumping n hopping from one subject to another..

But I truly missed you my dear blog... :) ..my bestest buddy at all times.. You always quietly n patiently listen to me... very sweetly assimilate all the crap I offer.. :) hehehehe...
Promise to try and be regular now on...